@JermHimselfish: I just saw Madonna climb out of a hollowed out tree trunk in the woods near my house.
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@ItMightBeJimbo: Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man.
@InternetHippo: cute girl: hello my mouth: hel— brain: nice job buddy you’re almost there mouth: —vetica brain: what the hell
@ElizaBayne: If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now
@rolldiggity: Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.