@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
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@OtherDanOBrien: Tomi Lahren is pretty confident for a person whose first and last names are both misspelled
@murrman5: *pushes cart from 20 feet away into cart corral perfectly* "did you see th-*wife is already calling parents to take the kids for the night*
@NurseSeymour: Jamie on FB just took a quiz to find out what type of flower she is. She's a vibrant poppy. Weird, all this time I thought she was human.