@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
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@sarcasticmommy4: Parenthood has taught me that you can ruin someone's day by asking "did you brush your teeth?"
@meladoodle: The new options on Facebook look like the life cycle of every relationship I've ever had
@redthe1: My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct
@sensitivetim: 2 friends and I once pulled the 3 kids in a trenchcoat trick & killed a man got tried as an adult but when they hung mike, paul & I fell out