@ShaeAaron: I just sent a text that says "we really need to talk" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today.
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@ThatDudeF: Telling our kids we were born before the Internet is going to be the new 'I walked to school in the snow without shoes'
@zgbetty: This donut scented car air freshener is going to pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
@InternetHippo: Look, if you didn’t want to go to prison you should’ve started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon
@Asbo_Unicorn: It is better to have loved and lost than have your face ripped off by a chimpanzee