@ShaeAaron: I just sent a text that says "we really need to talk" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today.
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@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock
@david8hughes: [wearing World's Best Dad shirt] Wife: whys there blood on your shirt? Me: its not my blood Guy bleeding out in the yard: its not your shirt
@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.