@DeanB15: I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dawn_M_: I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts.
@Consent2Treat: I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer.
@tnylgn: I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid my friends will give me the funeral I told them I wanted when I was drunk.
@RidiculousSheri: I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please.