@DeanB15: I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu.
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@bonehugsnirony: The first person who started winking at others was probably the creepiest human ever.
@vladchoc: For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say "Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"
@ItsJennaMarbles: Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'.