@ramenfuneral: I just swallowed a little hair color. I think I'm going to dye.
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@JonMHamm: Spent the day helping out on my son's Kindergarten field trip. Teachers should make a minimum of $6 million per year.
@bombsydoll: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *hits wall outlet *has amazing time being electrocuted
@wittwitbarista: Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokémon players? 2) do I care?