@knot_eye: I just vacuumed my dog to cut down on indoor shedding, if you're looking for a life coach or whatever.
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@Jeffwni: [hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?
@esbeeback: Now I have 2 accounts a friend suggested I retweet myself when I'm bored. Sounds like my sex life at the moment
@Phantasmagoriax: If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.