@shutupmikeginn: I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, "mind if I join?"
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@TheMainlandBlog: If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for.
@KKAlThani: I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire.
@HeyoShellz: Me: Give me some space, I'm feeling claustrophobic 8 whispers to 9: Leave Mom alone, she has to poop but she can't