@envydatropic: I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me
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@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Reasons he didn't text you: - He forgot. - He fell asleep. - His phone died. - His pet died. - His GF died. - He died. - He thinks you died.
@Kristen_R5: summer is real cute until every frickin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
@kellyoxford: 7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?" Me "Yes" 7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"
@take2skw: I use words like "acquiesce" and "ubiquitous" in daily conversation and then I throw in a "for reals yo" just to stay mysterious.