@TheKenyan_: I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
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@BCMontgo: I was going through a stack of yearbooks yesterday when I saw I was voted "Most Likely to Steal all These Damn Yearbooks".
@TheToddWilliams: [office] ME: I'm back from vacation! BOSS: It's been 4 1/2 years! You said a week in Venice! ME: No, a week on Venus...which is 1701 days
@HarmonyRambles: Pfft. Of course I know pound town has nothing to do with pound cake. Everyone knows that. *slides fork into back pocket, fights back tears*
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I know you're not supposed to question doctors, but it's weird how my dentist keeps insisting on checking my prostate.