@CroweJam: I just woke up and scared the hell out of this mortician.
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@WhiteKid4Sale: Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.
@daemonic3: [cow pushing 5 shopping carts out of store] Ugh, why do I keep shopping for groceries on 4 empty stomachs
@NathanBgood: "They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors
@sock_holliday: 'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later