@AudreyPorne: I just won $8 on a scratch ticket. Lock up your girlfriends, I got that double cheeseburger money
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@CackleClub: If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom
@TheBoydP: "If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~My son apparently
@BradBroaddus: My wife wants to go on a romantic date for Valentine's Day so I guess I'll stay home with the kids.