@AudreyPorne: I just won $8 on a scratch ticket. Lock up your girlfriends, I got that double cheeseburger money
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@bfrosty04: Just ran over my neighbors cat. In fairness, though, the damn thing probably thought he was safe when he made it to the porch.
@MissNaughty1801: Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance
@AtticusFinch79: [God creating bees] GOD: make some of them fuzzy ANGEL: thats good G: make them sting A: okay G: and let's give them teeth! A: too far