@venomjunkie2: I keep a banana in my pocket just in case, because I’m really not glad to see anybody.
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@CoolCamel69: *pulls home cooked meal out of oven* *family awkwardly stares at me* Yup, this is definitely not my house.
@Freudianscript: It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.
@UberFacts: Each time a person sneezes on an airplane, that sneeze circulates the entire airplane cabin before being filtered out by vents.
@HandyJack420: The Dominos "tracker" says Ashley just left with my pizza so I only have a few minutes to get naked. Just glad it's not Brad... ...again.