@venomjunkie2: I keep a banana in my pocket just in case, because I’m really not glad to see anybody.
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@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
@Ristolable: Me at 20: I'm smarter than everyone in the world Me at 28: I am so smart for going to the cheaper gas station
@hunz74: My 10 year old: "If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first." Me: "What?"
@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...