@t0shiba: I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
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@SarahR_82: I tailgated a cop who pulled out of the doughnut shop so he'd know what it feels like when he follows me from the bars.
@tastefactory: GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good.
@novicefather: I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.
@ThaJawn: Vampire: What is this? Cashier: Pez *showing him how it works* See, the candy comes out of the- Vampire: NECK! HA HA HA! I MUST HAVE ONE!