@t0shiba: I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
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@Vodkantots: I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him
@TheHyyyype: Signs that your wife is cheating on you: 1. Wearing more makeup and perfume than usual 2. Acting distant 3. Sleeping with another dude
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along.