@t0shiba: I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
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@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
@putyoursisterd1: "If I let them stay up late on Friday night, we can sleep in Saturday morning!" -a strategy that has never worked for any parent, ever.
@o__0Dev: On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a week.