@doooiiiit: I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily.
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@robdelaney: Need special medicine for our son’s kidneys but we can’t afford it because we bought printer ink last week :(
@Fred_Delicious: *Paul Walker shouts down from the gates of heaven* "YO DID I GET A MILLION LIKES ON FACEBOOK? THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A MILLION LIKES"
@Reverend_Scott: [blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) "So what do u do?" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]