@doooiiiit: I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily.
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@MatCro: [Job interview] "How would you describe yourself?" "I'd use the appropriate adjectives." "Anything else?" "Over-literal sometimes."
@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I go to hide out from my kids in the walk-in closet & my husband is already in there hiding out from me.
@ventivodkacran: ...and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for "I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don't You Care That I'm Dying"
@FrancysNjoroge: Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light -Bathroom graffiti