@doooiiiit: I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily.
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@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
@aligarchy: sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel
@weinerdog4life: All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
@kadyngriffiths: Thug: *shows tattoos of tear drops* So I remember each person I've killed. Me:*shows tattoo of an oven* So I remember to turn off the oven.