@419BillE: I knew I saw you the moment I laid eyes on you
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@LnL245: "Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun" *drops string cheese* "This hole is no cause for alarm" *picks up string cheese*
@murrman5: "so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first
@Bexdora: Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter.
@katiefzack: I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like "Oh she's cool she's one of us."