@cjcapbt: I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn't tear away ..
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Leave everyone stranded at a bank robbery to play laser tag when you're the get away driver and suddenly no one is your friend anymore
@TheDjinnTrials: Customer: Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write? Me: Wanna buy my book? Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.
@turtledumplin: I won't slam on my brakes if someone's tailgating me...I will, however, take my foot off the accelerator and slowly come to a stop.
@PeachCoffin: My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again