@allthatisbecca: I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted "WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"
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@AlexRogaski: Me: Yes honey.. I know.. a stroller for the baby. I got it. *hangs up* Salesman: As I was saying, the largest hamster ball we sell is a-
@AimByWhiskey: My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher.