@TheCiscoKidder: I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel.
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@lovemydogduck: My Phone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" and I sent it anyways
@BaileysIrishTom: Meeting my friend's new kid is always awkward. I mean, do I let them smell my hand before I pet it or just go right in?
@SteussieErica: [6 ½ hour car ride] Me: I'm so sick of sitting I can't sit anymore. Also Me: *gets home and immediately sits on couch*