@WetzelGeek: I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
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@iCumBl00d: Why do they hand out Kleenex at funerals if you're not supposed to jerk off in the back row
@littlestp123: boys love girls who go barefoot in the summer and comment on the texture of grass and say "ouch rocks" when walking on rocks
@VirgoSherry: A co-worker just used the word "elderly" to describe someone my age and that's why I had to kill her.
@Reverend_Scott: Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]