@WetzelGeek: I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
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@hipchkk: You know how moray eels can't let go when they bite, and both sets of jaws must be pried off even after they're dead? Don't touch my fries.
@TheBoydP: I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining.
@msdanifernandez: *on death bed* priest: any regrets my child? *montage of every time i saw a large dog and didn't try to ride it* me: uhhhhh