@SaraMansford: I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably.
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@Underchilde: When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they’re gonna start throwing cutlery at each other.
@amhw: Coffee: Because when you're groggy and barely coherent, the first thing you should do is handle a scalding hot cup of liquid.
@GuyThe_Guy: They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow.
@GingerHotDish: Licked a frog once. He didn't turn into a prince but he did turn into an ambulance ride.