@sbellelauren: i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there's no jesus
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@joeyfullystated: Autocorrect changed Italian to Taliban, so now I'm sure the NSA is super interested in my ricotta cheese.
@envydatropic: The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong
@Mickey_McCauley: The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table.