@CaseyMichelle__: I know I'm in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
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@erica_rosie: I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it.
@joejwest: HITMAN: Who's the target? ME: [slides photo across table] HITMAN: You..want me to kill Shrek? ME: Not Shrek [taps photo] his talkative horse
@AtticusFinch79: I'm so oblivious to someone flirting with me that if they told me to take my shirt off I'd assume it was because I spilled something on it