@Dutch_50: I know it's illegal to launder money, so I've decided to stop doing laundry entirely. Just to be on the safe side.
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@jjhartinger: ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now.
@ohen39: doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made