@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.
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@KateWhineHall: 10yo: You know that's not what they mean by exercise, right? Me: Pfft. [continues shaking Fitbit up and down]
@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.
@AndyAsAdjective: She looks at me with those come hither eyes & I'm over here frantically flipping thru a dictionary trying to figure out what "hither" means.