@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.
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@krustythe_klown: Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!
@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.
@ElgatoEsmio: Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS
@fouadelbatrawi: Thank God for butter because without butter all butterflies would be just flies and that sounds terrible.