@KKBowls: "I know what you look like naked" - me to my girlfriends identical twin sister, every single time I see her.
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@bornmiserable: I appreciate it when someone tells me to just "get over it" when I'm depressed. It gives me a chance to exercise my grave digging skills.
@AmishPornStar1: Seriously joggers?! You're gonna run and carry on a conversation at the same time? And I'm all outta breath just finishing this McMuffin!!!
@InternetHippo: *gets a series of eyebrow rings* *hangs little curtains from them to cover my face*
@oothikicha: The keys Home-Insert-End-Delete are together on the keyboard. Whoever created the keyboard was a big fan of one night stands.