@Cheeseboy22: I know you're not supposed to hug the old lady giving out samples at Costco, but the sausage she gave me had cheese inside. Cheese.In.Side.
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@robdelaney: How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.
@hippieswordfish: Cop burst through every window of my house as I perform the illegal Google search 'teen age mutant ninja turtles with no Shells on '
@othersome: the waiter grinds me some pepper. "tell me when." i never say 'when'. the restaurant and the city fill with pepper. sky turns black w/ peppr
@GlennyRodge: "My dog's learning to speak a foreign language." "Español?" "No, he's a labrador."