@Cheeseboy22: I know you're not supposed to hug the old lady giving out samples at Costco, but the sausage she gave me had cheese inside. Cheese.In.Side.
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@SlabBaconBP: I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single.
@Fred_Delicious: **You're through to 911, dial 1 for human cops, dial 2 for lobster cops** [smashes 2 frantically while crayfish tries to break down my door]