@MartaEffing: I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you.
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@badbanana: Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I'm looking for the thumbs-down button.
@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/
@briangaar: "Sir, I need you to explain your resume." Well, my pet tiger & I were beloved cartoon characters "Current job?" I pee on things I don't like