@JermHimselfish: I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like "Pick up milk" or "Pay gas bill" or "Stop wasting your life away"
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@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"
@errdayhustlah: My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys.
@Abusitron: As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel.
@FBSisnothere: For the first time in forever, I used the term "oopsie-daisy". Couldnt be avoided. I mean what else do you say when you drop someone's baby?