@MarcusTheToken: I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard.
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@Izianikapani: Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball.
@dafloydsta: [trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? "Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?
@AtticusFinch79: <gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly.