@KKBowls: I let a Jehovahs Witness in my home, I sat him down and said, 'what do you have to tell me?' he said, 'I don't know, never made it this far'
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@dril: restuarants need to start hanging up pictures of their bathrooms outside so i know what im getting before i walk in the damn place
@ShoutingGoddess: One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.
@danfishbach: Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
@salamingia: Don't you love it when you order salt at McDonald's and you accidentally get some fries!