@MasterOfFury: i like dropping off a tweet to FB & watch as everyone cautiously forms a circle around it, looking confused while prodding it with a stick.
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@briancthayer: *licks the powdered sugar off the donuts and puts them back* Boss: I kinda like these new low-cal donuts. Real moist.
@panmidwest: ME: I'm not voting for anyone CLINTON: that's a vote for Trump! TRUMP: that's a vote for Clinton! ME: looks like I'm voting twice then
@ilovepie84: I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
@primawesome: Health food? Baby, my body is a '93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I'm not about to start putting premium gas in it now.