@MasterOfFury: i like dropping off a tweet to FB & watch as everyone cautiously forms a circle around it, looking confused while prodding it with a stick.
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@LindaInDisguise: Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.
@trentistweeting: "Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think "diver city day" could be fun too
@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@TwatWaffler69: I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children.