@novicefather: I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit.
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@PlainTravis: I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I'd have an excuse to tell passengers, "Where we're going, we don't need roads."
@SondraDeeMe: [vet office] ME: *puts cat on counter* He's sick VET: How so? ME: Look *cat's arranging magazines & gently tosses empty cup in garbage*
@iwearaonesie: 9: I'm going to live with you guys forever me: I don't ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again