@novicefather: I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit.
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@KateWhineHall: "Oh my gosh, this is the biggest donut I've ever seen." "Mam, that's a tire." "Kids, get me a napkin."
@hipchkk: You know how moray eels can't let go when they bite, and both sets of jaws must be pried off even after they're dead? Don't touch my fries.
@TheMichaelRock: I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"
@therealeatwood: BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you… B: What’s that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!