@tiemespankme: I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site
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@AcceptableLoses: Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that.
@LoveNLunchmeat: When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
@noog: God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good
@SwirlySkittles: Easiest and quickest way to get me to shut up, open my mouth and get on my knees is to simply make it rain Skittles.