@tiemespankme: I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site
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@stefani6124: I love it when I run into people I know at my psychiatrist's office... Because I'm like, "Hey, you're crazy too? Cool."
@Lisa_Laughs_: You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific.
@TheBoydP: “Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable…” ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
@flashember: You, watching House Hunters: this is ridiculous Me, a house hunter: [squatting low to the ground, sniffing house dung] a bungalow is nearby