@copymama: You: Artfully arranges flowers in vase so the room looks nice Me: Artfully arranges garbage in trash so the kids don't see what I threw out

@Reverend_Scott: [Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today

@ObscureGent: The thought of two people colliding mid air while looking at their phones is the main reason I wish that humans could fly.

@LMHPhotog: Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrödinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

@Laser_Cat: Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats.