@theshamingofjay: A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before.

@AlanHungover: *Food hits floor* Little germs: GET IT!!! King Germ: NO! We must wait 5 seconds!

@JKNenagh: Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me:If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too? #slapped

@AxholetheGreat: Meme.

@daemonic3: "Hot, lo-cal singles in your area!" - Diet ads for Cannibals