@seriouslyemily: I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."
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@SortaBad: "Click to read this man's secret to incredible 6 pack abs!" *click* article: hard work, diet, & exercise me: I have never felt more betrayed
@FillWerrell: If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST
@AGreaterMonster: When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks.
@markleggett: I only watch "Game of Thrones" because I'm trying catch a background extra wearing a wristwatch.