@kDuncanG: I like my women like I like my bamboo: graceful, strong, and constantly in threat of being eaten by pandas.
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@michaeljhudson: *dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*
@EndhooS: A fun thing to do when someone shows you a picture of their new baby is to look confused and just say "I don't get it?"
@Dawn_M_: I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair.
@goodersuk74: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout