@kDuncanG: I like my women like I like my bamboo: graceful, strong, and constantly in threat of being eaten by pandas.
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@timdonakowski: I should've been a sniper. They get to lie around all day and hardly lift a finger.
@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*
@lawyerthoughts: "There is no such thing as a stupid question." - person who has never walked my family through attaching a photo to an email.