@JT_IV_: I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
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@JesKeepSwimming: Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten "people" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule.
@SortaBad: The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken
@DaddyJew: Oh, your kid gets straight A's at school? That's cool. My son knows exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse.
@BackrowSeats: This woman at the bar said "move, you're blocking the door" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number.