@NoogsCorner: I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?" And that's my long-term solution to religion.
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@sbellelauren: the craziest thing about today's story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING
@noog: I wish the entire planet could come together as one and agree to refer to Kanye as Kanye Kardashian so we can bask in his shattered ego.
@andylassner: CNN reporting that CNN will be reporting something on CNN. Tune in to CNN for all of the up-to-the-minute stuff CNN is reporting.
@joejwest: [on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]