@charliedelta7: I like taking my cats out for a drive to show them roadkill so they know what will happen if they ever leave me.
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@neiltyson: Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film “Back to the Future II” showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we’ve got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars.
@baeblacksheep: If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day.
@Brampersandon_: OCTOPUS: *places tentacle on Bible* JUDGE: Do u swear to tell the truth? O: Yes BAILIFF: *spends like 8 minutes trying to get Bible unstuck*