@ieatanddrink: I like telling car salesmen "Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do
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@PetrickSara: My biggest fears are: -running out of chocolate -running out of coffee -running out of toilet paper -running
@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
@GrrrRach: I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets.
@WildeThingy: Jamaica has declared war on drugs. Actually, they pretty much do everything on drugs.
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?
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