@iAmJuddy: You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.

@dinokitten: I'm still in disbelief that 9/11 coincidentally happened on September 11 (9/11)

@slimmy_shady: 3 am phone call, "Hey, are you asleep?" Nope, Im skydiving.

@roggyie: Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T shirts and jeans

@trojansauce: [meeting zac efron at a book signing six years after my wife said she thought he was handsome] well hello there mister home wrecker