@michaeldean0116: 'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch.
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@Cyd10e: If every day is a gift, I'd have to say today was a Fruitcake from Last Year Day. Recycled, disappointing and held together by booze.
@EliTerry: I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation.
@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.