@michaeldean0116: 'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch.
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@Chumpstring: [walmart] GREETER: hello 🙂 ME: [leans in close] what's the cheapest toilet paper you got GREETER: i don't know offhand ME: you're disgusting
@Tmoney68: I've GOT to get a life stenographer. It'd be great to say, "Betty, read back last night so I can see why I put a skillet on my nightstand."
@suz1973luq: Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
@Cheeseboy22: Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.