@Mr_Kapowski: I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say "that's so me!"
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@murrman5: are you the girl who types everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*
@omgthatspunny: Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
@biggsmoke814: Where's Jesus when you need him. There's only 2 fish sticks left and I've got company coming.
@Home_Halfway: The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful.