@IEatChawal: I like to combine danger with awkwardness by falling up stairs.
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@DanielRCarrillo: "I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day." -A rapscallion
@generaldietz: Spiderman: Can I be in The Avengers now? Captain America: Um sure. Spiderman: What should I do? Iron Man: You're in charge of web design.
@msdanifernandez: [during sex] him: Im so sorry. This literally never happens [takes out telescope to watch comet]