@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.
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@trevso_electric: Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, "guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."
@TheAlexNevil: Me: If I had to choose between saving you or saving a stranger, I'd always pick you. How 'bout you? Dog: No question--I'd save me too.
@jjmick45: GUYS: you need to be nicer to women,if you dont believe me just google "woman stabs" and see how many stories come up.
@: I collect all cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my room. Last night those little ***holes all set alarms to go off at various times throughout the night. I’m impressed with their ingenuity and team effort. They’re all grounded.