@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.
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@joeljeffrey: They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. Please. You wanna know expertise? I've spent over 300,000 hrs being a moron
@IvoryGazelle: [work phone rings] Customer: I realize ur closing but I just have a quick question "Good, because it's 4:59 and I-" Now, it all started back in '82 when I had my knee replacement surgery
@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.