@Home_Halfway: I like to go to my local diner and order pancakes "on the rocks." They don't know what I mean. Neither do I. They hate it when I come in
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@Dawn_M_: Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
@lasergirl70: Me to waiter: "I'm eating for 2." Waiter: "Oh, you're pregnant?" Me: "No, my sister was supposed to meet me here, but she can't make it."
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Silence of the Lambs is my favorite movie. ME: Oh me too. HER: Which part do you like best? ME: *sweating* Um, when the lambs stop talking.