@jordan_stratton: I like to intentionally barge into guys wearing camo and then look around bewildered like I have no idea what I just ran into.
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@ItalianBratikus: My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon.
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.