@HysteriaBarbie: I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with "Just in case I crash again"
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@BenjyHimmel: *wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*
@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn't finished.
@clemdytan: My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
@AnkCoupleTO: I'm trying to convince this guy that 'jesus is the reason for the season' but loansharks have a different perspective