@HysteriaBarbie: I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with "Just in case I crash again"
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@beefman138: *Brings pen to sword fight* Guy with sword : What's that? Me : Tis mightier! *Gets beheaded*
@Donnie_Fairburn: Most of my tweets have been coming from a very dark place lately. That's what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
@KateWhineHall: Nothing is better than working out to 80s music. Except listening to 80s music without working out.
@PortRooster: Pitbull: Hey, what rhymes with "Kodak"? Nicki Minaj: "Kodak", duh... Pitbull: Thanks!