@FriedWords: I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
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@Kalarlis: should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room
@WilliamAder: "Damn you, Autocorrect!!!!" - Mark Zuckerberg, who had intended to announce that he was giving away 99% of his socks
@ShesARealGenius: [Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time.