@FriedWords: I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
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@robfee: Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?
@PJTLynch: Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD
@PaulyPeligroso: Me: *slides note to bank teller* Bank Teller: So....you're not robbing us, you just want to take a selfie with "mad cash" on your face?
@_Kim_Jongun: I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference.