@FriedWords: I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
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@SlabBaconBP: Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is "great" and "awesome."
@RobElliottComic: Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain
@PJTLynch: That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls